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COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 



(7 



THE WAITER, 



BY J. J. FLANAGAN, 




COPYRIGHTED 

1903 

BY J. J. FIvANAGAN. 



THE LIBRARY OF 


CONGRESS. 


Two Copies Receivad 


fUL 20 


1903 


Copyright 


Entry 
XXc.No 


cuss Ou 


^ ft 3 
COPY 


H- 9 


B. 






PRESS oif This 
STAR PRINTING COMPANY, 

910 WESTMINSTER STREET, 
PROVIDENCE, R. I. 



CONTENTS. 

Page 

Chapter L — A Young Man's Ambition to Be- 
come a Waiter 7 

" II. — A Waiter's First Experience In the 

Business 9 

" HI. — How a Waiter Is Tied Down 11 

IV. — Manner of Dress, Politeness, Etc. ... 12 
V. — 'Physical Part of a Waiter's Life. ... 13 

VI. — A Waiter's Temptations 16 

VII.— His Salary ; Does He Earn It or Not ?. 1 7 
" VIII.— What a Waiter Has to Know About 
Cooking, Mixed Drinks, the Peo- 
ple's Appetites and Their Fancies. . 19 

" IX.— Private Rooms — Nuf Sed 21 

X. — A Waiter's Philosophy 25 

'' XI. — Information Bureau 26 

XII. — Three Kinds of People — Fussy, Ad- 
vertising, Society 27 

XIII. — A Waiter's Amusements After Hours. 32 

" XIV.— What Kind of a Trade Is It? 33 

XV. — 'Proprietors 34 

'* XVI.— What Waiters Call Gentlemen 36 

XVII. — A Waiter's Opinion of Labor Law. . . .37 

"XVIII.— Good Service 38 

" XIX.— A Waiter's Work and Life 39 

" XX.— The Head Waiter 41 

" XXL— Tipping 43 

3 



INTRODUCTION. 
My Dear Readers : 

This book is written for the waiter, and, from my 
point of view of the subject, I do not think he has many 
sympathetic friends. I am writing for him what 1 
think is right, and I will uphold him in all things that 
I think he deserves. In relation to what he does he 
may l^ave some bad qualities, but I will not mention 
them all, for I think his good qualities will cover the 
bad ones a thousand times, considering the obstacles 
that are before him in his line of business. 

The outcome of this book, entitled ''The JVaiicr/' 
is a sample of the different classes of people that in- 
habit the globe ; to put in print the feelings of a waiter ; 
what he has to comply with to hold his position; all 
kinds of questions he is asked, not only from the un- 
educated, but from the educated people, and especially 
from the professional classes, whom you would think 
would know different. You, readers of this little book, 
must remember that the writer — a man of experience, 
and a man that has traveled the Globe — must tell you 
of a few good qualities which this book is entitled to. 
From an educated standpoint, I must say the waiter 
is the most educated man in existence. Now, I will 
state my reasons for making such a statement. All 
vvaiters do not receive a college education, but most of 
them have a fair education, and what they have missed 
in not going to college they have learned in half the 
time it takes the young man graduate from such an 
institution. Secondly, a v/^iter with a fair education 
can develope hiniself to such a degree, that with his 

4 



THE WAITER 5 

experience he can converse with anybody of any pro- 
fession, or on any subject. In other words, he can 
make his conversation pleasing to anybody from a 
minister to a statesman; while a college-bred man 
is confined to the people of his class. He could not 
face the multitude of the masses of people, and please 
them all, from an humble workman to the president of 
the United States. I am not making these statements 
to boast for the waiter, but from a commonsense stand- 
point. A man cannot make a good waiter, or be 
master of his work, if he does not comply with what 
I have told you. 

In the following chapters you will read what a waiter 
has to do to fulfil his position, to make himself pleas- 
ing to everybody, and I hope you will agree with me 
in many ways when you have finished reading my 
book. 



CHAPTER I. 

A YOUNG man's AMBITION TO BECOME A WAITER. 

The be.s^inning of this book is a serious undertak- 
ing, and, to do justice to whom it is dedicated, I must 
start at the beginning of a young man's life, one who 
has followed this vocation for a livelihood, one the 
writer has known from experience — to state a few 
incidents of the starting of a young man in this line 
of work. I do not need to tell you his life from infancy, 
but at a rough estimate. I will tell you of a mere boy 
in his school day life. 

First, if the reader will look back and think of his 
fellow playmates when a boy, one seems very dull and 
has no desire to mingle with the other boys ; does not 
care to join in the different kinds of sport and games ; 
was obstinate at all times, while the other boys were 
always jolly and in for anything the gang would pro- 
pose in the line of sport and games, always having 
dates ahead for different kinds of trips which are made 
in boyhood days. And as the days and months and 
years go by this second boy, so full of play and sport, 
has grown out of his childhood thoughts. His mind 
has developed some new ideas and, from seeing, hear- 
ing and reading about great men and things, his de- 
sire is to get out of the country village where he has 
spent his childhood days, where he can get somewhere 
and look for a larger field in which to develope his 
ambition. After reading of great men who had made 



8 THE WAITER 

a fortune in a short time, and who were once country 
boys; after having tried at different occupations, 1 
was doing fairly well, but was not getting along fast 
enough according to my desires. On account of not 
enough of excitement connected with my position, 1 
drifted from one place to another, until finally I ac- 
cepted a position offered me as a waiter. I did not get 
along very well at the start, as it was a trying position 
for a novice. I was completely broken up. I was not 
accustomed to the kind of abuse I received, which you 
will surely get when you are an apprentice in the busi- 
ness. 

As time wore on I received my degrees, one after 
another. There was not much doing that I was not 
on to, and finally I said, "My boy, this is the occupation 
that suits you best," for the excitement takes away 
the rough part of it and it is a pleasure to deal with the 
people of every day life. I was kept posted on every- 
thing going on, whatever happened, as well as what 
was going to happen — from a dead sure thing to 
things that were not so sure — just from mere conver- 
sation with the parties I was serving, and getting 
acquainted with the people in every walk of life. When 
an opportunity came my way, or if anything occurred 
that 1 wanted to know about, or the best way to go 
about it, I was acquainted enough to consult the pro- 
per person and to go the right way to accomplish it, 
thus saving time and capital. And, after all, the waiter 
lives on the best in the land. He may not be a Rocke- 
feller or a Morgan, but lives and enjoys himself just 
as well, only he can't put his hands on his banknotes 
so often as they can. But he always has plenty for 



THE WAITER 9 

himself, according to his mode of living, and he lets 
it ^o as freely as he sees others do. And still another 
idea of a young man's ambition to become a waiter, 
is that they are not drove to work by a whistle or a 
bell, as some other young men are, especially those 
working in a factorv or other places of the kind, so i 
will agree with the voung man as far as he has gone. 
His troubles are great, and I hope he will receive a 
little kindness in the following chapters, yet 1 do not 
think so, as this is only a starter and I think he will 
have a glorious finish. ^ 

Wife to Husband— Let us have supper at Vary cr 
AnthonVs after the theater. , , „ j 

Husband— Why, my dear, I have only a dollar ana 

ten cents. 

IVife—That is more than enough. 

Husband— Why no. One dollar for the imiter and 
ten cents for supper? 



CHAPTER II. 

A WxMter's first experience in the buisness. 

His first year, I must sav, is the most laborious of 
any of the vears he will have in the busmess, and you 
may rest assured, after he has found out some of the 
tricks of the trade he will be making his work easier 
for himself everv year, expecting the new ones (or 
apprentices, as I might call them) who may appear on 
the scene, to put up with all the rough part of it, which 
a new man has to do when he first takes a position m 



lO THE WAITER 

any place. My dear readers, I know you do not under- 
stand what I mean by the rough part of it. If you 
have an acquaintance who has been in the business, 
which I am sure you have, or if you have been out din- 
ing at all — he could explain it thoroughly to you. It 
is the v/aiter that knows, if anybody does, or if he has 
had a few years' experience at a first-class place or 
any pretentious sort of a hotel, club or restaurant. 
During t^e first year of his apprenticeship he is simply 
a servant for his fellow waiters. I mean the fellows 
he works with, side by side. They know he is a new 
man at the business and is anxious to do' anything for 
them in order to learn ; that they may, when he wants 
to know anything, be willing to tell him. Another 
thing I want to relate is that when a fellow is learning 
the business he is avoided by every one coming into 
the place where he works, because he is new in the 
business, and they don't want him to wait on their 
party ; consequently, instead of learning the business, 
he really has to steal it. After working under all these 
conditions, he finally gets acquainted with a few of 
the good people and by degrees he is working his way 
to the top notch, and at the same time getting all the 
experience connected with it. If the young man stays 
any length of time in one place, after overcoming 
all these difficulties — which is very often the case — • 
it frequently happens that he will become the leading 
waiter in the place and also the favorite, having won 
out by his strenuousness, and admired by his fellow- 
employes. 

'7 say, zmiter, this salmon cutlet isn't half so good 
as the one I had here last zveek." 

"Can't see why, sir; its off the same fishT 



THE WAITER ii 

CHAPTER HI. 

HOW A WAITER IS TIED DOWN. 

A waiter is the most tied-clown being to his occupa- 
tion of any Hne of business, no matter what line you 
mention. For instance, a waiter works all holidays, 
when all other human beings are enjoying themselves ; 
holidays, when the people of all other lines of business 
work the least, the waiter is at his hardest day's work. 
The summer arrives, and still the waiter is working 
when all other people are enjoying the pleasure of the 
summer breezes, as well as the diversions that take 
place during this particular time of the year, such as 
picnic parties, sail down the bay, moonlight excur- 
sions and all kinds of various sports and pastimes 
that happen at the great number of shore places we 
have in this beautiful country of ours. How can we 
enjoy all this sort of pleasure, if we are working when 
all these things take place? If we have an afternoon 
off, or an evening, it is so short that there is not suffi- 
cient time to walk around the square. If we happen to 
have a position at any of the shore places all the fun 
we have is to look on and see others enjoy themselves. 
Summer passes by and we are into the fall season — 
still the same old story — work seven days a week — 
don't even have time to go to church. That is why 
waiters are such heathens. If he is a married man and 
wants to be home once in a while he must live near the 
place he is employed, or he will never be acquainted 
with his family. Very seldom you see him in company 
with his wife, unless she meets him at the door where 
he is employed. If he went home to take her to the 
theater, or any other place of amusement, his time 
would be taken up, and it would be time for him to 



12 THE WAITER 

be on deck again to answer the roll call. If you stay 
away from Vv^ork a few hours and put a substitute in 
your place you have to pay him what you make for a 
full day's salary. This is one of the reasons that 
m.akes the waiter so shifty. If he wants a vacation 
or a little pleasure he has to throw up his position and 
when he returns he gets a position in another place. 

Gcntle^nan {dining at the club) to zuaiter — ''Aren't 
you IV ai ting on this table f 

"No, sir" {pointing to waiter in distance). ''That 
gentleman is, over there." 



CHAPTER IV. 

MANNER OF DRESS^ POLITENESS, ETC. 

This chapter is what a great many do not under- 
stand. How, on a mere salary that they are paid, can 
they stand the expenses of furnishing themselves the 
way they are obliged to. If they want to look respect- 
able, their laundry bill would take all their salary 
alone, not speaking about the other little sundry ac- 
counts they have, which is not worth mention. Can 
you blame them for looking for tips? They not only 
need to have clean linen, but a good waiter must have 
a "dress suit, a Tuxedo, and have to buy them often. 
It is not as though a business man, who wears his 
evening dress at night, and can make it last him for- 
ever, but a waiter has to wear his at all times, and the 
consequence is that it takes a few dollars to keep him 
in this line of clothing. If you have not the necessary 
clothes to go with the position you have, you might 



THE WAITER 13 

just as well look for some other occupation. If lack- 
ing- in these thing's, it is as bad as a carpenter without 
a saw. Still another thing I want to impress on the 
reader's mind. The waiter has not the freedom of 
dress like any other person ; for instance, the occupa- 
tion demands white shirts and black clothes, does it 
not? Well, he cannot invest in any other color. If he 
does he will never wear them out, but will simply get 
tired of them, for he does not have the time to don 
all kinds of loud dress, especially that line you may see 
worn by the general public. If a young man wants 
to keep in the swim he has to follow the style, and ap- 
pear out on parade with the fashion of the season. 
Still the waiter has the same black clothes, always 
looking the same, for he is hemmed in on all sides 
by his occupation, and then we wonder at crime. As 
for jewelry, or any other decoration a man may wear, 
at any other trade, it is out of the question with the 
waiter. It is not proper for him to flash any kind of 
apparel like that, because it is out of place. The way 
for him to look is neat and clean, with dress very plain. 
If a waiter has any diamonds, or jewelry of any kind 
that is valuable, he would not get the credit for such 
for people think they are worn by a man who can't 
stand for it in that line of occupation. But we have 
them just the same, and good ones at that. 



CHAPTER V. 

PHYSICAL PART OF A WAITER'S LIFE. 

You might think, because a waiter works in a down 
town restaurant, hotel, or cafe, and alwavs looks well 
in tlie "v^v of neatness and dress, that he ha? no heavA' 



14 THE WAITER 

work. On the contrary, he has. He does not shovel 
or perform laborious work, but you would be surprised 
if you knew the number of miles he walks in a day. 
Not a slow walk, but at a good gait. What more does 
a man want for exercise? You know walking is the 
best exercise for the human system, providing you do 
not walk too much. But the question is, does the 
waiter get too little exercise. I never saw it in my 
life, as long as I have been in the business. You can 
consult a physical director and if you are in want of 
exercise the first advice he will give you is to take 
plenty of long walks. The difference between your 
walk and ours v\^ill be in the open air. If you were 
to ask my advice I would tell you to take up my occu- 
pation and you would never suffer from dyspepsia, 
indigestion or any of the diseases going about in this 
twentieth century of ours. I do not know what the 
coming generation will do. Not many years ago al- 
most everybody walked to their place of employment 
and thought nothing of it. Now if you have to go two 
blocks you hop on a car. There are some people who 
will have to be excused, especially those living in the 
suburbs of the city. But it would do them more good 
if they walked. The generation that is growing up, 
instead of walking, I guess, will fly or shoot through 
tubes or the like, or any old thing to make rapid tran- 
sit, so they won't have the trouble of walking. Hack- 
men were starving to death a few years ago because 
they only had the wealthy class to patronize them. 
Now all kinds of people have grown into the habit of 
calling "Cabbie," even the waiters, who must be ex- 
cused, as they often work into the early hours of dawn, 
making it necessary for the waiter to do so, as a great 



THE WAITER 15 

many times the cars are stopped on many of the routes 
at that h.our in the morning. 

That is not all on the physical question. 

Secondly — not only does he develope his le^rs by 
walking, but also his arms and shoulders, carrying a 
great deal of weight through the course of a day's 
work. Think of the amount of trays, dishes, silver- 
\vare, glasses and food, not to mention the hundred and 
one other different kinds of work he has tO' perform 
to add to his physical ability. In many cases where 
he works he has not all the accommodation that is 
necessary for quick service. He often has to climb 
stairs to the kitchen, or go down stairs to the bar, and 
very often the pantry is in another part of the house. 
Many people who don't know the way the different 
departments are situated think everything is put in the 
waiter's hands. We all know first-class houses have 
elevators, but if an employe rides in any of them in 
performing his duties it will cost him his job. Very 
often no employe of the hotel is allowed to ride, no 
matter whether they are going to serve a party in a 
room at the top floor or not, and if a waiter don't fol- 
low these rules to the letter, and wants to hold his 
position, he has to make the best of it. But they do 
not always do what they are told in that respect. If 
they have to climb to the top of the building they will 
take a chance and ride, or they will stand in with the 
elevator boy someway, for the elevator boy may want 
a piece of pie, or a little ice cream, or something else 
in that line, to keep his stomach from caving in. In 
many cases he might give him something in the line of 
liquids, "Squirrel Whiskey" for instance, which will 
make him send the elevator up a little livelier. 



i6 THE WAITER 

I am Hearing the end of this chapter, so I thought 
1 would give it to you as strong as I could for the 
waiter's sake. 

It is ivith narrow-soiiled people as it is with narrozv- 
necked bottles — the less they have in them the more 
noise they make in pouring it out. 



CHAPTER VI. 

A waiter's TEMPTyVTIONS. 

My dear readers, this chapter will be as short as 
possible. You may think this is where you have him 
cornered, but I am not going to boast for the waiter, 
and then turn around and throw him down. 1 am 
going to tell you more of his good qualities than his 
bad ones, although I am going to relate some of his 
faults. You know a fellow at this occupation meets 
the people when they are out on a good time and on 
a sporty lark. A man that is in the swim may keep 
away from sporting for a time, but once in a while they 
are bound to let out. This is when a waiter sees all 
tlie doings of a party when they are out on such a 
kind of time. They wine and dine, and keep it up to 
the early hours of dawn. This is one of the ways a 
waiter is spoiled. With seeing all the various sorts of 
enjoyment, his thoughts are turned toward that direc- 
tion, and he has to do the same when he gets a chance. 
Quite often the waiter is trolling home when the sun 
is coming over the hills. If very many of these oc- 
curs, he gets so he can't do without a regular draught 



THE WAITER 17 

of intoxicating- drinks, and the final outcome is that 
he is on the road to ruin. If a waiter is a Httle bit of 
a philosopher he can have all this kind of amusement, 
at the same time not abusing it, and he comes out 
better in the end. The temptations are great, and it 
takes a wise fellow to shake them and look out for 
number one. 

A pleasant after dinner drink — Finger Bowl. 



CHAPTER VII. 

HIS SALARY DOES HE EARN IT OR NOT? 

His salary is not what you would call great. If a 
person, ignorant of what kind of an occupation it is, 
should ask what he gets, he would be ashamed to tell 
him. If he was basing his claim on what he was given 
by the house he was employed in, and if he was to ex- 
plain all the ways he received extra money, you would 
be convinced that it was a fair occupation. I think 
it is a trifle better than the average pay in any line of 
business that a young man might be employed in. In 
some places in Europe, I understand, although I never 
had the opportunity to be employed in any other coun- 
try than this, many hotel employes never receive a 
salary from the hotel. They depend on what they 
make from every guest whom they attend or do any 
other service. European people, as a rule, are subject 
to this way of doing business, and anything that is done 
for them always has a fee connected with it. I have 
heard from many European waiters, that when an 



i8 THE WAITER 

American traveler stops at a hotel there the proprietor 
always adds to the bill as an item (service) for the 
waiter who has attended him during- his stay, the 
American people not being accustomed to tipping the 
waiter as are foreign people. If my American friends 
do not think what I have said true, they ought to take 
one trip to France, or Germany, and a few other coun- 
tries, and they will side in with me on this part of the 
chapter. 

If a waiter is paid a salary of twenty-live dollars a 
m.onth, or, at the most, thirty-five — which is the salary 
he is paid in all the leading hotels in the country — ■ 
do you think he could keep himself on that? If he did 
not receive tips, do you think a fellow with the ambi- 
tion a waiter has would stay at this occupation? Do 
) ou think he earns it ? If he only had the work to serve 
what they order, it would be easier for him, no doubt. 
He has all kinds of bother to find out what the people 
wants, and must take all the insults that are thrown 
at him and yet can not say anything in return. If 
he does he loses his position. Look pleasant no matter 
what your troubles are, and laugh against your will. 
When you go in to the ])antry swear as much as you 
like, provided no one hears you. A waiter may get a 
small salary in a first-class place, but he makes up the 
difference in tips. 

If it comes down to a regular weekly salary, it is 
the second-class places that pay the most, but that is 
all, for the people that go there never pay the waiter. 

I think private rooms can be counted as a top-notcher 
for a waiter for a chance to g;et a fair salary. The 
position demands more than a regular dining-room, be- 
cause it is another line of business altogether. You are 



THE WAITER 19 

not supposed to know anything and at the same time 
know everything; not to see anything, but if he does 
he must be bhnd. I think he earns every cent he gets. 
He deserves something for all this knowledge of the 
business. There is one thing I came near forgetting 
which is very important to my readers. When a waiter 
has been in the business and has walked four thousand 
miles every day the time comes when he cannot walk 
at all. His feet go back on him. These fellows we 
call kidney-foot waiters. They cannot help this style 
of walking, for they have deformed themselves trying 
to satisfy the people, from whom they get but little 
thanks, and when in old age they are not fit for any 
other occupation. 

Summer Boarder — '7 thought you advertised this 
place as 'Lake Viezi^ House. I don't see any lake 
around here." 

Farmer — ''You follow me (taking him to the roof 
of the house and pointing to a lake about ten miles 
azi'ay) See that lake over there. You city folks ain't 
got anything on me." 

Boarder — ''You also advertised fresh vegetables 
from the farm." 

Farmer — "That cook ahmys' gets me in trouble. I 
told him to open fresh cans every morning." 



CHAPTER Vni. 

WHAT A WAITER HAS TO KNOW ABOUT COOKING, MIXED 

DRINKS, THE PEOPLE'S APPETITE AND THEIR 

FANCIES. 

Here are some of the few things he has to know 
about in this line of business. You take, for instance, 



20 THE WAITKR 

as near as I can explain it to you, a party coming in 
to the dining--room to dinner. The first thing that is 
asked is, "Waiter, what have you got that is good?" 
The most fooHsh question that can be asked of him. 
Everything is good, some things better than others. 
We do not serve anything that is bad. If they are bad, 
or stale, you can bet it will not get past the waiter if 
he knows his business; especially for his own good, 
if nothing else. The proprietor does not want any 
food s'erved that is not right. He wants the people 
to come again. That is a part of the reputation of the 
place — pure food and nicely served. If such a thing 
happens, the waiter is called to account for it. Second- 
ly. The party will look at the menu. It may be print- 
ed in French, and then they will ask the waiter, "How- 
is this cooked?" "What is it composed of?" He is 
supposed to know how it is cooked and the various 
sauces that go with it and the like, and when you tell 
them, they may order that particular entree, or what- 
ever it may be. It takes time and memory for the 
waiter to find out all about the different dishes on the 
menu, and the menu is often changed. Carte du Jour, 
which means card of the day, are the special dishes 
for that day. He has to be posted on what is on it, 
and many times he has trouble with the cook looking 
for this information. The cook is often busy and will 
not stop to give you the information. The same ques- 
tions arise as to drinks. A dinner looks and tastes 
different from what it ought to when the drinks are 
omitted. If you look over a wine list you will find 
more than a hundred different kinds of mixed drinks, 
and the waiter must know how all of them are mixed ; 



THE WAITER 21 

how much of this bitters and that bitters it is composed 
of; how much lemon juice, sugar, and, "Do they put 
in plenty of liquor?" It is very often asked of us, 
"What is the name of the label ;" "What part of 
France does it come from," or some other old country ; 
"Who is the the importer?" "How many bottles in a 
case?" "How much does it cost?" and a few other 
things. When a person once gets acquainted with a 
waiter, and he is in the habit of waiting on him, he 
will say: "Hello, Jack (Bill, Jim or whatever his name 
may be) What will you give me today?" Well, it 
takes a good man to suit his taste. There are some 
exceptions. Some people are very easily satisfied, and 
they leave it to the waiter who has been serving them 
for a long while to fix them up. But, on the contrary, 
how does a waiter know whether your stomach is in 
condition to stand a hearty meal or not; how can he 
know whether you are steak hungry or chicken hungry, 
or if you only want a sandwich? A waiter with a 
little reason can overcome these difficulties by a shrewd 
conversation and by a few suggestions can find out just 
what will suit you to a T. Give a waiter fair play and 
he will do v/hat is right every time. 

Look pleasant no matter what your troubles are and 

laugh against your zvill, 
But don't forget to get his coin when he is paying his 

hill 



CHAPTER IX. 

PRIVATE ROOMS NUF SED. 

In every first-class place there are private rooms. 
Some people don't know what the private rooms are 



22 THE WAITER 

reserved for. They are not for single individuals to 
dine in. If they were you would have to have a room 
for every person that patronizes your place, which 
would mean a very large building. They are not for 
parties always in a hurry, people that patronize 
these rooms are people that have plenty of time, and 
they do not want to be in a public place to be "rubber- 
necked" by all that see them. Business people often 
occupy private rooms, to talk business ; to finish some 
deal or other sort of contract that is connected with 
their lines ; or to talk over some great festival, or din- 
ner, or celebration, that they may settle all the details, 
for the committee for which they are acting. These 
are some of the people who occupy them. But there 
are others. You take, for instance : A lady or a gen- 
tleman go into a public cafe or restaurant, and she or he 
wants an appetizer before dinner — say a Martini, or 
a Manhattan, or something straight. Well they can- 
not take any pleasure in it when there are so many 
people watching them, if they once see a cocktail 
or anything else to drink on the table, are rubbering 
to see what is drank next, and very often say to their 
neighbors: "I was in a down town restaurant last 
night, and guess vv^hat I saw? I saw Lizzie (Mamie 
or Nell), drinking. I did not think she drank any- 
thing, she thinks she is so nice. I really was sur- 
prised." And if a fellow saw a good-looking girl 
drinking a cocktail or a bottle of wine they would want 
to make a date with her right away. You can judge 
for yourself the popularity a person will get if they do 
such a thing. That is another reason for a private 
room. If a person wants a drink they can enjoy it to 



THK WAITER 23 

their heart's content without others passing remarks. 
It is a place for a fellow to bring his best girl, or 
somebody else's best girl, and enjoy themselves without 
her best fellow being any the wiser ; a very good place 
to bring your wife to dine ; a better place to bring some- 
body else's wife {For everything is on the Q. T.) 
A waiter that knows his business don't know anything 
and never sees anything, and all you sports know 
what a waiter means when he says these words — • 
especially the business men, v/ho knows a thing or 
two about private room affairs if he employes any num- 
ber of help at all, especially females. The next thing 
is when a v/aiter is serving a party in the private ruom : 
If they have been there before they are very kind to 
him, for he has played so many tricks on them they will 
be more careful the next time. When a party comes in 
a private room for the first time, the waiter will fre- 
quently run into very fussy people. They will tell you 
they want their order served this way and that way, 

rnd "Be d quick about it, and don't lay down and 

liavc a sleep on the way, or a smoke." These are some 
of the few remarks which are given to us the first 
thing without any provocation. Well, the waiter that 
knows his place will take it in good part, but he will 
say to himself, "I will fix that fellow in some way and 
make him think he wished he was not so fresh." The 
waiter knows from his look or actions whether he has 
his best girl with him, or if he has his wife or some- 
body else's wife, and then the waiter looks for a chance 
to get back at him, and an opportunity to play tricks 
on them. For instance, I will tell you one of the tricks, 
which I think is moral enough, and you can guess 



24 THE WAITER 

some of the others if you are a good guesser, but it 
is hard for you to do that if you have not been in the 
habit of going to these places. A waiter will take a 
man's order for dinner who is very fussy, above the 
ordinary, and he is kicking about everything that he 
orders at the start. At the same time the waiter knows, 
from observation, that he is as crooked as a fish-hook 
and he knows he would not come to a private room if 
he was* not in for ''something doing," so the waiter 
takes his order and he leaves the room. Apparently 
on the impulse of the moment he will spring back 
again and ask him how he wants his order cooked, or 
some other bluff, in order to catch him at some funny 
tricks and, as luck would have it, the party cannot 
answer the waiter's question, being so embarrassed, 
and is caught in such a position (holding hands is not 
in it) that he cannot speak at all. This is one of his 
tricks. The next time he comes, if he ever comes 
again, he is so kind and gentlemanly that he don't 
care how long it takes to cook his order. He is the 
best friend the waiter has, and he uses every precaution 
after that. There are a great many other tricks, but 
they cannot be mentioned at present. Personally the 
waiter can tell you them all. In many cases the waiter 
is called on as a v/itness to testify in a great many 
divorce suits, so you don't know what time he can do 
you a good turn. 

There zvas a railroad accident out West, and in one 
of the papers it read like this : 

Four killed, tzvo women, one man and a waiter. 



THE WAITER 25 

CHAPTER X. 
A waiter's philosophy. 
This chapter is a hard one for a waiter to write, but 
I can tell you what I mean by it from a personal point 
of view. You know a waiter is put down as an unedu- 
cated person, so it is hard for him to find words to 
express himself, but I will tell you a few things about 
him before I finish this book. You know the waiter 
meets all kinds of people, among them some fussy 
ones. Well, what I mean by "a waiter philosophy' is 
for him to stand all sorts of abuse and insults which 
are thrown at him very often and in different ways. 
As long as you can ward them ofT with a fevv^ kind 
words and look pleasant in their presence, and when 
you are in the pantry or some other part of the house 
look as cranky as you like. When the party you are 
serving sees you are good-natured they will give you 
double^tips over what they really expected to give you. 
There are some classes of people that have this way of 
doing things. Thev think they will not get anything 
right if they do not'kick first. They try your patience, 
and if vou show signs of unwillingness they will re- 
port you, and vv^e are supposed to stand for all the abuse 
and kicks and other kinds of talk that goes with it. 
If you v/ant to come out ahead at the end of the week, 
so you can count your money in larger quantities, use 
a li'ttle strategy, and comply with the few remarks I 
have told you "in this chapter. That is what I call ''a 
waiter's philosophy." In other words, be wise and 
foxy, mind your own business, and you will come out 
ahead. 



26 THE WAITER 

FARMER AND WIFE'S TRIP TO NEW YORK. 

Wife — / wonder zuhy they have these bill of fares 
printed in French or German f 

Husband — So they can zmrm over what is left from 
yesterday. 



CHAPTER XI. 

INFORMATION BUREAU. 

Waiter, give me my lunch quick ; I have got to go 
to PawtucI- et, or some other old town ! Do you know 
what tim.e the trolley leaves? How long it takes to 
get there? Can I get the steam cars to carry me 
there in shorter time ? I am going to spend three hours 
Vv'ith my brother's folks; when can I get a return car? 
I am going to Boston next week to do some shopping, 
see what time the train goes ! Waiter, will you please 
look in the Directory and tell me Mr. B.'s address. 
You know all this takes time. These are a few of the 
questions asked, and to be polite one must comply with 
their wishes. If they ask you what time a boat leaves 
Piong Kong for Russia and you do not know, they 
feel very much disappointed. They will ask you what 
plays are going on this week at the various places of 
amusements, all about the baseball score, boat race, 
and all other things, which it is difficult for a waiter 
to keep up with, besides attending to his own business. 
How many miles to this place or that place? Is it going 
to rain todav, or snow, or do vou think it's best for 



THE WAiTKR 27 

me to carry an umbrella? They even want to know 
;vhether, if they drink plenty of liquor, they will get 
intoxicated. I can keep on writing all day and telling 
vou the foolish questions asked, but they seem 
too sillv to put in print. You know that in 
every first-class place they have an orchestra, and a 
waiter has to keep in touch with all the popular music. 
Verv often they are asked the name of the piece they 
are playing, who composed it, who is the ^yrlter.^ ihey 
will ask the waiter to have the orchestra play this piece 
?nd that one, and very often they do not know what 
they are asking for. Thev even do not know how to 
pronounce the^lame of the piece they want played 
Then the waiter has to guess at it. It he does no. 
know, he talks it over with the leader of the orchestra 
to find out, so we are musicians and we are not. it 
we could answer all the questions asked 01 us we would 
not be employed as waiters. We would be looking for 
a professorship in some college or some other great 
place of learning. 

IVaifcr, gk'c uic an egg omeletf! 
What a foolish order. We all knozv omelettes are 
made ivith eggs. Ho7V z.^ould this sound (which means 
the same thing) :''Here is my name-card.'' 



CHAPTER XH. 

THREE KINDS OF PEOPLE— FUSSY, ADVERTISING, SOCIETY. 

The fussv people are divided into classes by them- 
selves. Some are naturally fussy, others are only oc- 
ca'^ionallv so, and there are ^ome that could not be 



28 THE WAITER 

pleased, if St. Peter himself were waiting on them. 
They will come in to dine and the first thing they will 
do is to give their order. Then they will make re- 
marks like this : 'T want my order right away, and 

d quick; I want a drink; the first thing I want 

is a glass of water; bring me the daily paper." How 
is a waiter going to satisfy a man like this ? He wants 
everything right away and wants everything first. How 
can th^t be done? Before the waiter gets through 
with him he receives a call, and is served on the kind 
of dishes they have in the house. Still they want 
white, green or blue service. Why, it would keep a 
painter all his time painting crockery to suit some peo- 
ple so they would have the color of dishes they desire, 
ihe proper silver, or some other old thing they saw in 
some other house where they had been fortunate 
enough to liave some one ask them out to dinner. The 
waiter tries to serve him as quickly as possible. If he 
asks for his order from the cook before he gives the 
latter a chance to cook it, the cook gets mad with him. 
It is very difficult to have things come right if you do 
not keep friendly with the cook. We get much infor- 
mation from that functionary in regard to many things 
on which we wish to keep posted. When an order is 
properly done it is always sent to the waiter. You 
cannot hurry things if you want them properly cooked. 
I do not blame the cook for becoming cross sometimes. 
It is very disagreeable to be standing over a hot range 
CYery day, especially during the summer months, with- 
out being troubled by other affairs. When a cook is 
out in company with his fellow men he is as good a 
]3erson as you can find. When he is busy he is like 



THE WAITER 2y 

one in a trance and he should not be bothered. They 
have many things to think of when they are cooking. 
If their mind is not on what they are doing, they can- 
not suit the taste, and then the people find fault in the 
dining-room. It is all blamed on the cook. The per- 
son in a hurry is the one that is always kicking. No 
matter how much time he has, he is always nervous 
and wants everything in a flash. If he has a train to 
catch he is there just as it is pulling out, and anybody 
in his way will receive some remarks from him that is 
not in the Bible. If he misses it by a minute he is tell- 
ing of the mismanagement of the company, or has 
some other kick, trying to get square. This person is 
put down as no good by everybody that comes in con- 
tact with him. 

Secondly — The advertising people. If you were to 
notice these things the way a waiter does and under- 
stand them, you would call it funny, and a show in 
itself. A business man will appear in a dining-room — 
a place that is popular — frequented by the people he 
is apt to deal with, and especially a new place which 
has been recently opened he picks out as a place for a 
field of operations. The head waiter will assign him 
to a table, and as soon as he gets seated he begins to 
rubber. If he sees any one he knows it is a chance for 
him to start his game of advertising. He will not be 
two minutes at his table before he will change. In 
the course of changing his place he is shaking hands 
with every one he knows and bowing right and left 
in such a manner that he attracts the attention of every- 
body. The lookers on will inquire as to who that per- 
son is and they will receive in reply that he is Mr. M., 



30 THE WAITER 

or Mr. C, who is in the piano business, or clothing 
;)nsiness, or whatever business he might have. You 
c.ni see where he gets his free ad. No matter what 
the incident that has happened worth recording in his- 
tory this free advertising grafter was an eye-witness 
to the affair, or Johnny-on-the-Spot, yet at the same 
time he was many miles away from the thing that hap- 
pened. Every time they come into the dining-room 
they \^nt to see the proprietor, on no business what- 
ever, but to show themselves, to let him know that he 
is patronizing his place. Many of my readers would 
never notice this manner of things. In the future take 
notice and you will be convinced that I am striking the 
nail on the head, especially in regard to the cheap 
business people Vv^ho advertise in this manner. In a 
common sense expression they are no good. Where- 
ever they go they are looking after a two-for-one graft. 
The society people are very near on the same category. 
As a matter of fact, they are not looking for an ad. 
in business, but are looking for an ad. in 
other ways. They are the noisiest people that enter 
a dining-room, with a few exceptions. I do not mean 
boisterous or rough in their actions, but the clattering 
of their tongues would make a menagerie look like 30 
cents, one trying to out-talk the other; to be noticed 
more ; to look the most fascinating ; the one that talks 
and laughs the most to attract the attention of the 
people in the dining-room with them. It is supposed 
among the society people that the party laughing and 
talking and attracting the most attention is the party 
that is enjoying themselves most, as they look at it. 
But you ask the waiter whether the laughing, etc., is 



THE WAITER 31 

all enjoyment which comes from a gathering of this 
kind, and he will tell you it is all a bluff. Everything 
that is done in a jovial vvay is only for effect for the 
lookers-on. You can talk about a book on character 
study, but the waiter has learned more from the society 
people and others than a writer can express in words. 
A waiter can tell you more in a minute than Kipling 
or any other poet or book-writer can in a year. You 
can bet that the kind of people I have described to you 
never pay cash for what they get. They will have their 
check charged. Not only that, but their bills are very 
hard to collect. If they buy a ten-cent article they wall 
have it delivered. It will cost the firm tv/o cents for 
postage to send their bill and two cents to return a 
receipted bill. You could get rich on that kind of 
business. A poor man will buy a loaf of bread, pay 
for it in cash, and carry it home himself. When they 
give a dinner they w^ant things just so, and are all 
the time kicking. When presented with the bill, they 
even get insulted. A firm has to pay money out to 
furnish the stock for dinner parties, and it takes so 
long to collect it that it is almost forgotten. Many 
times they will pay their last bill w^hen they want to 
give another dinner party. 

Hinty, Minty, Minthy Mo! 

If you ever step on a waiter" s toe, 

When he hollers you had better go. 

P. S. — And go d — • — fast, for he knozvs hoiv to sling 
plates. 



32 THE WATIBR 

STRENUOUS SOCIETY LIFE. 

Mabel — ''Six luncheons in one week! Did your 
gozvns hold out?" 

Irene — ''Yes, indeed, hut I hadn't any conversation 
for the last tzvo days." 



CHAPTER XIII. 

A waiter's amusements after hours. 

This is the only time he has a little enjoyment. Can 
you tell me when at other than after hours he has a 
chance? If there are more than one hotel in the city, 
the waiters from one house meet the waiters from an- 
other house, and they wander off to some hotel that 
is run on the Bohemian principle. They have lunch 
and something- to drink; tell their experiences of the 
past week and many incidents that have happened in 
the dining room ; generally there are some funny con- 
versations, jokes and stories, and the waiter can tell 
them. They are a very jovial class of people and al- 
ways willing to forgive and forget. That is the way 
a waiter keeps in touch with the doings of different 
hotels and places. In itself it is a regular hotel school 
session. From these meetings he knows how much the 
various places are doing, the proprietors names, the 
number of help employed at different hotels, and the 
salary they get. We have to take in the shows every 
week, not for our own amusement, but to keep in touch 
with the times. If we are not up to date we might 
just as well go back and sit down. If a waiter can 



THE WAITER 33 

dance at all, you will meet him at the places where such 
are held. You will see him gliding along to the strains 
of the music of a waltz, a two-step, or some other kind 
of a dance. These are where he is at his best. If he 
has a Sunday for recreation he is planning where to 
go to enjoy a good meal with his lady friend, and pos- 
sibly a cold bottle to go with it. When they dine out 
with a party they know how to do the right thing. 



CHAPTER XIV. 

WHAT KIND OF A TRADE IS IT? 

It is a trade, considering the amount of knowledge 
a person has to possess to fulfil his duties as a first- 
class man, the same as any other trade. You have to 
serve many years as an apprentice. In some trades you 
are required to serve three years to finish, or get suffi- 
cient knowledge of it, but at this line of business if 
you serve that small amount of time as an apprentice 
you would not know anything. You could compare it 
to a drop of water in a hogshead. Not only that, one 
has to travel and work in many places before he learns 
the business thoroughly. I class it as a trade which is 
foremost and above all trades, the requirements needed 
being enormous. Some of the things we have to stand, 
the nonsensical questions asked us, and the reputation 
that is given us, places us on a level with the man who 
works on a sewer. By my remark of this last person 
I do not mean to put his position down as a degraded 
laborer. A man who labors for a living honestly is 
the man to be admired. It is all done for a purpose. 



34 THE WAITER 

For instance, he may have little ones depending on 
him for support. It is a trade you are all the time 
learning, for in this twentieth century of ours the peo- 
ple are not what they were ten years ago. If you 
want to suit the people you have to be up to the times. 
Competition is so great that the place which caters to 
the people of the present day and is up-to-date is the 
place that is popular and successful. 



CHAPTER XV. 

PROPRIETORS. 

The writer's experience has been very lucky with 
the Proprietors. I have received cordial treatment 
from them. That cannot be said by all the waiters, 
and I think some of it is due to themselves. I have 
found it so. You take the case, for example, of a wait- 
er when first he works in a place. He is a stranger, 
and will not be trusted, but if he is found to be honest 
and industrious it will not take long for the proprie- 
tor to notice all these little points, and in the future he 
is kindly treated. He knows he is deserving of it. He 
takes an interest in his work, which not only helps the 
reputation of the place, but his own reputation. He 
is very much trusted afterwards. A waiter that is in 
the habit of drinking and letting it interfere with his 
daily work is not successful. How can a proprietor 
depend on him? These are the sort of feiiov\^s that 
make uncomplimentary remarks about them. Having 
said a few kind words about the good ones, I will say 



THE WAITER 35 

a few words about the other class. Instead of speaking 
in a gentlemanly way to their employes, when they 
want anything done, or if they give orders of any kind, 
they will pounce upon the person they are talking to 
without cause, thinking the work will not be done 
properly if there isn't a few cross words to go with it. 
An employe looks on a proprietor as his master. A 
few kind words spoken to a waiter is appreciated by 
him. He will say to himself, ''If we get used wrong 
by ^me of the public, there is one good thing, we have 
a nice proprietor." You can rest assured the waiter 
who has any sense at all, will look out for his interest 
whether he is watching him or not; and he is spoken 
of by the waiter with the greatest esteem. More work 
can be done with a good will when they receive kind 
treatment from the proprietor. A waiter working 
against his will is not profitable — you might just as 
well try to drive a balky horse. I am not writing all 
of this chapter for the proprietor, to keep on the right 
side of him. I am only telling my experience and how 
I have known them. 



There zuas once a waiter ivho zms all the time being 
called down by the proprietor, and he told his feUozv 
waiters about if. One of them, an Englishman, said : 
''Tell him to go to 'ell the next time he says anything 
to you, and he zvill stop calling yon dozvn." The next 
time he did so, and the proprietor discharged him. He 
then told the Englishman that it zuas his fault that he 
zvas discharged for telling him to say that. In reply 
the Englishman said: ''What did you let him hear you 
forr 



36 THE WAITER 

CHAPTER XVI. 

WHAT WAITERS CALL GENTLEMEN. 

**Once a gentleman always a gentleman," is an old 
saying. Well, we do run into some good fellows in 
this line. It does a waiter good to meet them, especial- 
ly when his spirits are away down. It makes him sore 
when he gets a call he does not deserve from a person. 
The gentleman will come into the dining-room and all 
the boys will greet him with a smile and all are willing 
to wait on him. He gives his order for dinner, sits 
there contented until his order is served, and he has 
sense. He knows the amount of time it takes for var- 
ious articles of food to be cooked. He leaves the place 
satisfied. He has given them time to have his order 
cooked properly. He knows the waiter does not delay 
in serving him ; a waiter is anxious to finish his work 
as soon as he can. This kind of a person is served in 
the proper manner. Everything he eats is praised as 
being well cooked and properly seasoned. Everybody 
served that way gives some satisfaction to the em- 
ployes, from the waiter to the cook, and even the pro- 
prietor. On the contrary, if you order in a hurry it 
will not be properly cooked. You don't want to give 
them the time to do it justice. These are the people 
that go away dissatisfied and are always knocking the 
place. It is their own fault. That is the kind of a man 
that is never wrong and is always right. 

Waiter, I wish you'd take aivay that glass of water. 
I might drink it by mistake. 



THE WAITER 37 

CHAPTER XVII. 

waiters' opinion of labor law. 

For the last ten years the principal cry of the work- 
man has been about labor ; what they have to perfonn 
and the number of hours they have to work. But pre- 
vious to that we had not heard so much of the agitation 
of the labor law. What a great field it has been for 
the politician ? especially the political grafter, who has 
spoken on every subject imaginable, convincing the 
people of things which were true and a good many more 
times convincing them of things that were not true. 
It is a blessing to them that the times have demanded 
such a subject as labor to talk on; to keep themselves 
from going stale, and also to keep themselves in the 
political field. They speak at all the political meetings 
on this subject ; at all the rallies and caucusses held pre- 
vious to election. They have spoken of manufactur- 
ing people, of capitalists, of all kinds of business and 
trades, and ridiculed them for making the wage earner 
work more than ten hours a day ; of many tradesmen 
that were only working eight hours a day, but not 
receiving a full day's pay for it. They have not looked 
all over the labor field, or have they forgotten the 
waiter. Do they ignore him, or do they think he has 
no vote, for which they are seeking? Probably they 
think he has no vote because he belongs to a shifty 
class of people. They never speak of the waiter in re- 
gard to the hours he has to work or the salary he re- 
ceives. I do not see any reason for their forgetfulness. 
The waiter serves them when they are fixing up many 
deals in regard to politics, and all the kind of schemes 
that precede election day ; he waits on them at many 



38 THE WAITER 

an early hour in the morning, when after attending a 
public meeting or reception, they go to a private room 
in a hotel and tell one another what a good bluff speech 
they put up, and how it took. They simply size up 
the crowd and the nationality it is composed of and 
make their speech accordingly, still, forgetting the 
waiter, who know more of them than the general pub- 
lic does? Does the politician forget our hours of 
labor?. He can agitate the eight or ten-hour law, 
but why does he not take a tumble to himself and say 
something for the waiter, who is working, not eight, 
or ten hours, but twelve and fifteen, and often twenty 
a day? If the politician is looking for a field for his 
bluff labor speeches, why does he not take a subject 
that is not a bluff? For example, a waiter's hours of 
labor. He will be crowned with success and gain the 
point of his life, and may rise to a position and repre- 
sent the people of the state by giving fair and honest 
speeches which the public at large knows of. I am 
in sympathy with the laboring class of people, but the 
question is : When you are agitating labor you must 
not forget the waiter! 

Do you employ union waiters here? 
I think not; I saw one of them bringing an order in 
a hurry. 



CHAPTER XVIII. 

GOOD SERVICE. 



What I call good service is when a party is served 
in proper time, each course in its proper place, with 



THE WAITER 39 

neatness in serving it ; to have the party go away satis- 
fied and pleased with the cooking and the attention 
the waiter has shown, accompanied by the usual polite- 
ness. In this chapter is told to you the principle of 
good service in a nut-shell. If you can give all these 
requirements the people will be always pleased. If 
you treat the customer well the first time, he will al- 
ways ask for the same waiter. You can serve the best 
food on the market to people and they will not be 
satisfied if you throw it at them. On the contrary, if 
you serve them in a nice manner any kind of food 
pleases them. 



CHAPTER XIX. 

A waiter's work and life. 

A waiter has a good many things to do besides serv- 
ing people. It is what is called side work. He has 
to prepare the dining-room so every table will have 
clean cloths ; to see that in general appearance every- 
thing is clean, and to have everything handy, so that 
when business starts all things will be in reaching dis- 
tance to make the service quicker. In the performance 
of his duties, if a waiter breaks any dishes or glasses 
he is charged for them, but very often they are not 
seen when this happens. In many cases he is docked 
for being late. A waiter's life is a fast one. What 
I mean by that is, an ordinary tradesman can work 
in a shop all day and see nothing relating to every 
day life and the doings of the people that are better 
situated. After work he mingles with the people, but 



40 THE WAITER 

his time is too short for him to learn much about hu- 
man nature. A waiter is always working in the midst 
of all classes and at all times sees many things and 
learns much. A waiter can stand on any corner of the 
street and from the passers-by can tell you the people 
of every-day life. If you have trouble over legal mat- 
ters and you consult him he can in most cases, tell you 
some very good ideas to go by. If he cannot, he is 
acquainted with all the men of all kinds of professions 
and he could tell you the one to consult that would 
prove to be the best person for your case. Some pro- 
fessional men are so crooked you might run into the 
wrong one, because you don't know them as the waiter 
does. A waiter is of a wandering nature, because 
he likes to visit different places to see what is going 
on. When he hears people talking of the different 
travels, it makes the waiter feel like seeing the places 
and all sorts of things. When he is in a strange land 
he soon makes friends, and feels at home, no matter 
where he is. Most of them have a quiet disposition, 
and when out to dine amongst themselves they enjoy 
it. They know how to order. If a waiter is in a hurry 
he will not order something that is not ready, and to 
go with it some vegetables that will take twenty min- 
utes to cook. Of course, the business teaches him bet- 
ter. He is always free with his cash and spends it as 
freely as he gets it. The wise one can accumulate 
quite a sum if he is foxy. Many a man in the busi- 
ness, if he looks out for number one, can put a nice 
sum away for himself to use in his old days. I will 
relate to you an incident of a Chicago hotel proprie- 
tor who was fond of fast horses. When he happened 
on the speedway he always had a brush with many. If 



THE WAITER 4i 

any would beat him he would inquire who they were 
and try to buy the horse. In time he had the fastest 
horse that was around that part of the country. One 
day he thought he would try again with all comers 
wanting a brush, hoping to give them the laugh. Any- 
how, he met his match that day. As the horses were 
coming down the speedway neck and neck, the strang- 
er got tired of driving alongside of him, so he lit out, 
and left Old King of the Turf far behind. This made 
Old Sport enraged at being beat, and he wanted to 
buy the horse. He sent his man to bring the fellow 
who was driving such a fast horse, as he wanted to see 
him. To his surprise, it was the porter that worked 
for him at the hotel. This goes to show that you 
should never judge a man bv his clothes or the posi- 
tion he has, for a waiter's "Motto" is "Know Much 
and Say Little." There are many classes of waiters- 
waiters that are employed in beer gardens, restaurants, 
clubs and hotels. I do not want to classify them. That 
would be boasting of some and making little of others. 
I think a man, no matter what class he is in, deserves 
and earns all he makes. All I have to say is that to 
be a good man at the business you must have exper- 
ience at all parts of it. No matter where you apply 
for a position you will be capable of doing the part 
that is required of you. Be honest, and keep away 
from all kinds of intoxicants. 



CHAPTER XX. 

THE HEAD WAITER. 

A head waiter has his troubles, and has to do many 
things to keep his waiters together. He has to keep 



42 THE WAITER 

a dozen substitutes on his staff, for you don't know 
when your men are g'oing to quit you. You don't 
know the schemes they make up, and sometimes they 
walk out together and leave the place in a bad fix. You 
may hire a gang of fellows today and tomorrow they 
will not show up. Very few will give you notice. A 
head waiter has to know all the tricks of the trade, 
and they are many. You have to watch them closely, 
for if you don't they will make more money than the 
proprietor. To keep their checks straight is a task in 
itself. Every system of checks has been outdone by 
the waiter. Some of them won't stay in places where 
they cannot make a fair salary by scheming. A waiter 
can understand this better than any one. A head waiter 
must give them to understand they must do what he 
w-ants them to do. If he is good-natured with them 
they take advantage of it ; they will impose on him and 
will not mind him when he tells them to do anything. 
This is the reason a proprietor, when he has a head 
waiter in charge of his dining-room, should give him 
full charge and uphold him. If some are favored 
there cannot be any system, and consequently no dis- 
cipline in the dining-room. There are times when a 
head w-aiter should use a little discretion. Anybody 
is liable to make a mistake. If a waiter should make 
a mistake, and it is not intentional, he should not 
discharge him but give him a chance. If he should do 
things to beat the house, or was slothful in his work, 
and was cautioned several times, he should be dis- 
charged. At the same time, it is not necessary for a 
head waiter to be too officious, which is often the case. 
They do not know how long their job will last, and in 
most cases they are compelled to w^ork as a common 



THE WAITER 43 

waiter themselves. When a customer comes into a 
dining-room, if the head waiter does not "^tice him 
and say: "How do you do?" make all lanas of bluff 
conversation; almost carry them to their table, and 
do evervthing but eat for them, they very often walk 
out That is what we call spoiled people. They do 
not come to satisfy their appetite. It is to occupy a 
table and do a little rubbering, and this is a great op- 
portunity for them to gossip. 

Once there was a waiter zvhom the proprietor 
thought made more than himself, and one day he called 
him into his ofhce and said : '7 discharge you I fhc 
waiter zcanted to know the reason, and the proprietor 
said' ''You have only zvorked here three months and 
you have built a house/' The zvaiter anszvered saying: 
''Why don't you keep me? I have my house built and 
the other man you hired in my place has not. 



CHAPTER XXI. 

TIPPING. 

This is the most important part of this book, which 
the writer, a waiter of long experience and a lellow 
of fair mind, takes the most pride m. Before I fin- 
ish this chapter all may hear from me, in all kinds ot 
ways, so it may interest you, and if it does not you 
are referred to' the cause of this chapter. Many a 
time a poor, honest expert waiter has lost his employ- 
ment through the ignorant maltreatment of uneducated 
and other kinds of people. Although many tip waiters, 
there are a great many more who do not know why 



44 THE WAITER 

they should. The people who dine in the so-called 
first-class restaurants should realize that the waiter 
who serves them g-ets a small salary, and depends on 
his tip for his livelihood. When you enter a restaurant 
where it is customary to tip the waiter, you know per- 
fectly well what you are doing. You know the waiter 
that serves you works on a salary, arranged on a fee- 
giving basis. If you refuse to pay the customary fee, 
}0U are robbing the waiter of his just due, exactly as 
if you held back part of the sum due the owner of the 
place. Surely if the people who patronize these first- 
class houses and restaurants expect extraordinary at- 
tention, I think the service should be paid for in tips. 
We get a small salary for putting the food, wines, etc., 
on the table, but this is not service. We suggest to 
people what to eat, drink, and what is in season. We 
serve, carve and do most everything- but eat it. The 
waiter must get the best there is and be quick about 
serving it. For all this he must stand in with the cooks, 
omnibusses and pantry men, who expect their fee as 
well as the waiter expects his. We must have spotless 
linen, wear good clothes, have a clean shave, shoes 
polished, clean collars and cuffs, a pleasant smile, a 
jovial disposition; be an encyclopedia of knowledge; 
speak two or three languages and work seven days a 
week and many extra hours. All these odd things cost 
money, so you cannot blame him for looking for tips. 
The man who works hard and honestly is entitled to 
his full reward. The other man, who is bent on pleas- 
ure, should be willing to let somebody else enjoy a 
little prosperity. On various arguments we base our 
declaration that the waiter's fee is a legitimate part of 
his earnings, and the fee he gets should not be given 



THE WAITER 45 

Lrruddnglv. Tipping- is one of the branches of a 
wa er s bnsir.ess and if there is a waiter who is not 
o^kfn^ for^it, von can bet he is not a first-c ass man 
t Ts just the 'same as a broker buymg or seUing rea 
estate He is looking for his commission, and xor he 
inte est of his customers, the same as the waiter that 
is serving you is looking for your mterest and sees 
that everything is first-class in every respect. 

DON'T sit and stop to think and 

FORGET the time is fleeing. 

TO hesitate means a lost 

TIP, Skip and run with all your might, 

THE time is fleeing, and we must keep up 

the fight. A 
WAITER'S cause is what we call all right. 



A WAITER. 
A waiter will never ask you to tip, 
But you can tell by his eyes he wants you to dip. 
And when you do he is content, 
For all he is looking for is just a few cents. 
The Lord help the man who does not comply, 
With this rule of looking into his eye ; 
For the next time you come to dine instead of ordermj 

toast, 
All you will get is a d- good roast. 



46 THE WAITER 

So when you are out to dine or to booze, 

Be careful, don't use him any old way you choose 

For the man is well marked that is a bully this way 

And will be treated on the bum if he does not pay. 

A waiter is a waiter wherever he goes, 

So be careful you don't step on his toes. 

If any man thinks he will not accept a tip 

He ought fo get a few jabs on his upper lip ; 

And when he goes to the doctor to have it fixed up 

He ^vill tell him he made a bad slip-up. 

If you want to be up-to-date 

When you order a two dollar plate, 

Don't forget to give the waiter his rake; 

And when you die Peter will say, 

*Mf you are a friend of the w^aiters you can come here 

to stay." 
And if not a friend on this earth 
In the hereafter you will get nothing but dirt. 
So be fairminded, honest and plain, 
And don't forget the waiter is deserving of a good 

name. 
And all the good fellows will be awarded above 
And see all the waiters as pure as a dove ; 
For they have received plenty of hell on earth 
And there in heaven will enjoy all kinds of mirth. 
So all the winers and diners join hands with the boys 

on this earth 



THE WAITER 47 

And you will all be rewarded because you did not 

shirk. 
All you stiffs take warning and fear, 
For Lucifer will have a good hold on your ear ; 
And when you holler murder, and help, 
The waiter will give you a push that will make you 

yelp. 
And after you are placed on the grate 
The waiter will shout, give him coal at one cent a 

plate, 
And keep putting it on until it is late. 
On earth he would keep a waiter waiting on him until 

early morn. 
So while he is there keep it good and warm. 
If on the next shift he begs to go back to earth 
Lucifer will make him promise to the waiters he will 

not shirk. 
So I will finish my poem. 
And you can bet the waiter has 
Friends wherever he roams. 
Be good to the waiters if you want any fame 
For the waiter that wrote this has a very good name. 

J. J. Flanagan. 
The End. 



JUL 30 1903 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




